Introduction
In the last quarter of 2011 I led Emmaus Church through a sermon series on knowing and experiencing the Holy Spirit. Throughout this series several themes appeared repeatedly, including the local church as the family of God. In response, a number of people in the congregation approached me with questions about precisely what this means and how it is supposed to play out in their life. Of special concern is how this idea of the church as family is to impact their relationship with their biological family and/or their own nuclear family.
Which family is to be treated as first priority?
What are my responsibilities to each family I am a part of?
What if my biological family is made up of Christians from other churches?
What role does my nuclear family play in my church family and vice versa?
Such questions cannot be answered in a simple sentence or two. Instead, each individual must apply the overall biblical theology of family to their own unique circumstances. It is my prayer that this brief document will help the Emmaus family (and others) do just that.
A Brief Biblical Theology of Family
1. God exists eternally in perfect family
God exists eternally in three distinct persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Each of these persons is equally God (Matthew 28:19-20, 2 Corinthians 13:14) and functions in a unique role in working with the others to fulfill their unified purposes (1 Pet. 1:1-2, Jn. 5:19-30). They exist in eternal unity, mutually serving, honoring, and loving one another in the true and perfect family.
2. We are born outside of God’s family
In John 8:42-47 Jesus contradicts the idea that “we’re all God’s children.” Instead, he teaches that only those who believe in him and his words belong to God. All others belong to the Devil. Thus, since every human being is born in unbelief every human being is born a member of the Devil’s family. Our actions confirm we are alienated from God and his perfect family (Colossians 1:21) as we follow the Devil’s ways (Ephesians 2:1-3).
3. Jesus came to bring us into God’s family
As the perfect Son of God, Jesus came to transform us from enemies of God into children of God (Galatians 4:4-5, John 1:12-13). As we are united to Jesus in faith we become children of God precisely because, and only because, we are one with the true and perfect Child of God by faith (Galatians 3:26).
4. We are born into God’s family by the Holy Spirit
We only enter God’s family through faith in Jesus and we only come to Jesus in faith through the work of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 2:14, 12:3). The Bible describes this as a “rebirth” whereby we are born anew by God (John 1:12-13) and his Spirit (Titus 3:5). In this new birth we are born into a new family — God’s perfect family — where Satan is no longer our father and the living God is (Romans 8:15, Galatians 4:6). Yet, since God has chosen to do this for countless men and women, we are not only united to God as Father but to one another as brothers and sisters.
5. The Church is God’s family and our family
Those who are in Christ have a common Father in God the Father (Romans 8:15-17, Galatians 4:6-7) and a common brother in Jesus (Romans 8:29, Hebrews 2:11). As such, every Christian is a sibling to every member of the Universal Church (the community of all Christians, in all places, throughout all times). However else we might describe our relationship to one another we are – above all else – brothers and sisters (Philemon 15-16).
6. As members of the universal Christian family we have a unique responsibility to our local church family
Just as a man may have family around the world but is uniquely and primarily responsible to and for his own household, so Christians are family to every Christian around the world but are uniquely and primarily responsible to and for the household God has placed them in. Biblically speaking, the household of God is the local church (1 Timothy 3:14-15) where we experience the most intimate family connections (1 Timothy 5:1-2). As such, it is our duty to care for those within our local congregation (1 Timothy 5:3-10), to select our own leaders (1 Timothy 3:17), submit to our own leaders (Hebrews 13:17), and provide for our own leaders’ needs (5:17-18), to use our spiritual gifts to serve our household (1 Corinthians 12-14), to carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), to restore those in our community who fall into sin (Galatians 6:1), and remove from our household those who refuse to repent (1 Corinthians 5). Christians are to fulfill these and other “one another” passages within the context of their local church.
7. Our identity as members of our local church family is of greater significance than our identity as members of our biological family
The Bible does not teach that the church is like a family or household, but that the church is God’s family and household. Those who enter into this family must leave their biological family in the process (Matthew 10:37, Luke 14:26). This does not necessarily mean that we physically leave our biological family, though there are circumstances in which this must happen (Matthew 10:34-36). It does necessarily mean that we spiritually leave our biological family and find our identity in God’s family rather than in our biological family (Galatians 3:28-29).
Jesus models this for us (Matthew 12:46-50) and his Apostle teaches it to us when he reveals that the Old Testament teaching that “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” is not ultimately fulfilled in marriage but in the local church (Ephesians 5:31-32). This is not shocking in light of the fact that the local church – not the biological family, the nuclear family, or even the Universal Church – is the temple of God wherein God’s Spirit dwells (1 Corinthians 3:16, Ephesians 2:22). No other community can provide such an intimate and profound spiritual connection.
8. Our identity as members of our local church family is of greater significance than our identity as members of our nuclear family
While marriage is created by God as a glorious institution for his glory and our good it is not eternal (Matthew 22:30). The Church, however, is eternal (Revelation 21:1-3, 9-14). Thus, our core identity is not found in our temporary role as husband/wife or father/mother but in our eternal role as a child of God and a sibling of God’s people, especially those in the household that is our local church. The New Testament epistles provide instruction for how a husband is to fulfill his unique duties to his wife (Colossians 3:19, Ephesians 5:25-33), how a wife is to fulfill her unique duties to her husband (Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:22-24), how parents are to fulfill their unique duties to their children (Colossians 3:21, Ephesians 6:4), and how children are to fulfill their unique duties to their parents (Colossians 3:20, Ephesians 6:2-3). Yet these instructions do not appear in isolation. Each of them appears within a larger context of directives for how to fulfill our unique duties to our local church (Colossians 3-4, Ephesians 3-6). Christians have significant responsibilities to their nuclear family as a small (but immensely important) portion of their equally significant responsibilities to the local church family. For this reason, many have observed that the local church is a “family of families” who do not exist independently of one another, but interdependently for one another.
Conclusion
The Scriptures place a tremendously high value on biological family and an even higher value on nuclear family. Yet as valuable as these families are, they are both overshadowed by the glories of the family of God (the church in unity with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) in which Christians find their primary identity and in whom God dwells. The specific applications of this truth will vary from individual to individual but will certainly require that each individual give serious consideration to the local church before making decisions about time, resources, relationships, relocation, and life in general.

